Who Will Mourn For You?
“Funeral services will be…” Those were the words of a text I received from a good friend just the other day. His father had just died—suddenly, unexpectedly. While his dad was 77 years old, he was still in great health and his passing caught everyone by surprise.
I texted back and told him what a great guy his dad was, and how he was one of my favorites. He sent me a quick text in reply. But I decided I would pick up the phone and call.
My conversation was quick, but painful. He told me that it was easier to text because that way he didn’t have to talk about it. I could see the tears through the phone, his voice choked, and the words were broken. It was just raw pain. His dad, a great dad and friend, was gone. I wished that I could ease the pain, but it was his own.
Gordon MacDonald in The Resilient Life asks the question, “who will be the deeply involved mourners at your funeral?” Who will be those people who will be broken up, choked up and unable to talk because of your passing? Who will be those people who will send text messages to friends telling of your passing because they cannot talk on the phone?
How many deeply involved mourners will be at your funeral? The number of them frankly represents a measure of how well we’ve lived our life. It tells us how well we’ve invested in people, how well we gave away our lives, and how well we received from others.
Indeed, I suspect that few will attend a funeral with investment statements in hand, or estate documents in tow as any kind of measure of gratitude. So what do you think—who will be your deeply involved mourners?